Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
