Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
My vagina just recognized that song.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
then he tried to convert me to islam
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
