I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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