We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
