Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
