Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
