You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
So much Jack, so little girl.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Randomize
