Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
