You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
