Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
