I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
