Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
be right there i have to get my cape
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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