Is it normal to miss your booty call?
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
im holly from the hills drunk
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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