I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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