Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I could fuck to npr.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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