we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
