he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Acid is not a monday night drug
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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