WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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