She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
When are your genitals available?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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