Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
