I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize