What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
You're breaking my sexual little heart
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