Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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