Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
