There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
