Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
This is the high leading the old right now
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
