This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
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