Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Randomize
