I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
