somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
