So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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