I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
