You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
