I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
