So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
