in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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