Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
