So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
