Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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