If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
