Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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