Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Randomize
