i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Randomize
