So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
