So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
