Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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