im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Threesome in a minivan. New low
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
