Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
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We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
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And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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