no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
