Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
is that a dick in a sweater?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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