I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize