I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I intend to get homeless drunk
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
