i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
