New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
the liver wants what the liver wants
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
