I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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