you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
