Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
This is my gift to your gina
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
