Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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