dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
