He is an equal opportunity slut.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Randomize
