ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
