There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
