I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
