Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
