sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
