the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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